HOW I PROPOSE TO MY WIFE IN 1986 BY PASTOR D.K OLUKOYA (General Overseer MFM).
(Marital Impacting Lesson For All Singles & Married)
???? Dr Olukoya And His Wife (Pastor Sade) of “Mountain Of Fire & Miracle Ministry” Narrated What Transpired During Their Marriage Proposal And Acceptance, with a throw back Picture in 1986.
???? General Overseer Dr Olukoya Speaks:
I asked God for a woman who would want to work and fit into what God wanted me to do and the Lord brought her image.
I wasn’t sleeping o. It wasn’t a dream, and God said “this is the woman”. Again, I prayed three times and got the same answer “ this is the woman”. That was my first testimony.
My father, who was a pastor also prayed. He had never seen her, but when he visited Lagos and saw her for the first time, he said “… this is the woman I saw too”.
It’s not a question of I feel led, or I think so, I heard and I saw before I took a step.
???? Pastor Mrs Sade Olukoya’s Speaks:
When I first met my husband, I was a chorister. I was very inexperienced and all I knew was to serve my God.
I was brought up that way. He was then a music director who came to our church to improve the performance of the choir .
We used to call him brother Daniel. There was really nothing on my mind than we had a nice brother who was coming to teach us in the choir.
He was down to earth and straightforward. Anytime he came we enjoyed his teaching. We always wanted him around because we learned a lot from him; more than the songs he taught us.
That day, he called me and we were in a small room where we normally had our fellowship. He used to do his counseling there too. I was thinking within me when I heard he wanted to see me and I wondered oh my God, have I done anything wrong? What has the man of God got to say to me today?
I was on dry fasting as well trying to see a man of God. In preparation for that visit, I was praying and wondered oh God, what is this meeting all about?
Just as he writes his books, he’s a man of not too many words but action, backed up by the power of God. I’m not praising anyone, but I’m saying the truth from the bottom of my heart.
That day, he talked to me and he said, “God is laying it in my heart that you are my wife. Simple”.
It was like I was in another planet trying to come back. Before I said anything, he just said to me, “you have enough time, you go and pray”.
When he visited, it was like an inquiry about what went on after the appointment. The result of my prayer and things like that. When I got to Ife, it was like God prepared that place for me to have a personal encounter on the issue.
To me, it was a matter of life and death, because of our Christian background . We prayed over everything, committed everything into Gods hands.
We didn’t do anything without hearing from God. For the first time in my life, we did marathon fasting. I fasted for 3 days just to ensure that I was getting it right.
Just to get a yes or no. While I was praying, I had the idea of having a very pleasant marriage and a man I can call my brother, my friend. True love comes from the heart .
I prayed to the Lord that I didn’t want deceit, I didn’t want to make a mistake. I wanted a happy marriage and God confirmed his word. God confirmed it by showing a revelation to me.
As an artist , I was able to do a sketch for my own future reference. God showed him to me. I was actually presented to him. That was when I knew God had a hand in it.
I was not really matured enough to say I heard God’s voice . God gave me that revelation and gave me witnesses as well to back it up. I prayed to God and I was happy. I had peace within me and I could see the future becoming bright.
I was confident that I was doing the right thing. I told him what the result of my prayers was and he asked when was my next birthday.
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I told him and he said to me, you share the same birthday with me. The relationship was not based on maybe because we shared the same birthday.
We actually knew about that at that point in time. It made the relationship even more special to me and from there we started.
We attended prayer meetings together. At first, we were meeting on Tuesdays . Then he gave me topics to talk about. He was a very good moderator, and he gave me just 10 minutes to speak on a particular topic. We discussed and we prayed together. We enjoyed every bit of our courtship.
We did not indulge in pre-marital sex. The courtship lasted about a year and a few months. Like I told you, before I got born again in 1974 the Lord had been helping me.
I never got into trouble like other people did.. So, the question of temptation did not come in a way that most people talk about temptation now. When we meet, we are meeting on purpose to study the word, discuss and go.
???? MARRIAGE IS HARD WORK BY Dr. OLUKOYA
Many years ago, I used to interpret the saying “Marriage is not for small boys” to mean small boys in terms of age, until I visited a female mentor that has been in marriage for 47 years.
I asked, so what is the secret of your over 47 years in marriage?
Beaming, she retorted; My son, the expectations you bring into marriage will either spell its doom or success. I married my husband without expectations of enjoying his money or buying cars for me, but with time, my patience, hard work and God-fearing attitude yielded results of getting cars, houses, taking care of our children and all that.
You see, if a married lady keeps on nagging in the house, she pushes the spirit of her husband from the home. If you make the man unhappy, you make the house uncomfortable.
So, I married without high expectations from my husband but simply to make him happy always.
Yes, for the past 47 years, I would be the first to get up from bed and the last to go back to bed. I bath the kids, do devotions with them, prepare breakfast for my husband and boil hot water for him to bath. I iron his clothes he would take to work, kiss him and wish him the best in his daily endeavours.
I asked my old woman, so then what does the man do in return? She laughed all heart and hearty and replied; You see, this is the mistake you young ones make in marriage.
YOU DO SOMETHING FOR YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE AND EXPECT SAME REWARD FROM HIM OR HER, THIS IS WRONG!
When it becomes your attitude to only please your husband or wife always, the other person responds naturally. Indeed, if nothing touches the palm tree, it doesn’t rattle.
She continued, my son, never carry “how rich or poor your family is” into marriage. After all, you knew very well the status of your family and decided to marry that man or woman.
Love only compels/leads would-be couples into marriage but it doesn’t sustain marriage.
Rather, understanding, patience, communication and most importantly, forgiveness sustain every marriage. High expectations are the symptoms of divorce in marriages.
Sometimes you hear, I want to marry a mother, a business partner, God fearing person etc.
You cannot get all your expectations in one person. With time and depending on your relationship, you may get some. So minimise your expectations in marriage.
To cut the long story short, as too many cooks spoil the broth, she concluded on the mistakes a couple should resist at all cost in marriage:
1. Never say you have made your wife or husband somebody from a nobody. It hurts. God only used you as an agent for transformation, give the glory to God.
2. Let the man be head of the home no matter the financial, economic,
physical and emotional health situation prevailing in the couple’s life whilst the woman exercises diligence in the use of the tongue.
3. Having children should not be the ultimate objective in marriage. They are given to enhance your marriage. When God delays in giving you a child, have every reason to live a happy marital life.
4. Sex is a major morale booster after a hard day’s stressful life. Try to be sexual beings and not “Angels” in that marriage.
5. Resort to God often and less to men to solve your marital disputes.
6. Let the women ” Make up” their characters much more than they make up their body.
Indeed, marriage is not for small boys because small boys struggle to forgive, demand everything speedily, lack the patience to wait, have so many friends etc.
((I hope a good lesson and impactation had just taken place, and if you didn’t grab 1 or 2 points from above ???? marital illustrations, you seriously have a long way to go in business of marriage.
Anyway, just ensure you make every effort for your marriage to work because a good marriage is an expressway to heaven)